Joy of missing out – Ana Božičević

for the lost

Captions for a Cartoon
(comic sans toi)

The machine dispensed
the pill into my sleeping body
and I awoke from the dream of live

I was on a broken ship
caught in the orbit of a long
dead stars

how long was I asleep?
I stretched, made my way to
the one-person pod and ejected

out into space. I had to continue my mission

Earth’s last fossil, a total heart
wasn’t gonna deliver itself
to the fireplace
at the center of space and

as I bobbed along
I forgave you
for waking me

remotely but
every star I pass

makes me think of you

When I return to earth
everyone I know
will be long dead. I’ll live alone

in a ruin computerized
to serve me in your voice

No, space is not for pussies

Star rain

I don’t want to die in your cell
Said Ralkina Jones
I have nothing to say
Except that I’m with you
And I love you
And we fight when you say
We should all get to die under the sky

Troll your soul

The sky doesn’t want you to go
The wind doesn’t want you to go
Trash cans don’t want you to go
Cabs don’t want you to go
The book doesn’t want you to go
It’s non just me

I saw the sky lady
Carry
A small gold center
Like the sky’s pistil—
And that was you,
Like the wourld’ baby or something

But a night sometime the wings
Get dark and gold
Oh darling can you tell me if
Someone has stepped
On my shadows

Sender Unknown

The night v. late
I went into the kitchen.
and looked out at
sharp winter stars.
Such a de facto handful
of diamonds and so
I cried a little. Be
that’s your name and
your eye a bit, of diamonds
the back of your teeth,
your past, maybe
even I if I
stared long enough?
a diamond.
So I cried and stayed here on Earth

Which is also a star

Every Time I Think Nature Can’t Shock Me Any More. I Discover Something Like This. Wow.

Remember feelings before emoji
Remember seeing the stars in the sky?
I remember really being alone

Emoji remember feelings to me
Like glitter recalls stars in the sky
And loneliness smells of company

We experience new old feelings with each new emoji
New old stars are discovered every year
And named after their captors-

Emoji sign feelings…
Stars embody an old light!
With the retinal lag of departure…

Come back to me as emoji,
Or a star
That doesn’t reach after meanings,

Wow

*

LOL

Life is lol
Love is lol
Pain is lol
The wind is lol
Cats are lol
Dreams are lol
You are awake
When all is lol

Carpe Damn

The screen is raining or
Bleeding a bit
Of white

The edges of the screen are fuzzy
wuzzy
And I tired or in love

So calm like everything’s forgiven
and
the army goes home forever into

The sunset, the forest,
the rain

And I’m beginning. Je commence
the long ascent
Out of

The screen — I’m outside!
Omfg. Check it out—

The snow is real

Firegram

Like a river of dope your love came to me
A superstar—and even if celebrity is
The prostitute sister of love, its economy
Still strikes us both as true,
And so we do do the world’s work. We adore.
Stars gossip with a look of love on the world’s edge.
The overlooked, broken, the queer and dark—
All those Heathcliffy words
Relax into a
Sphere of unsafety—
Remember ‘we were never meant
To survive’—
Her sex is the power and like
Literally my dildos have melted
From the heat
Of that fire emoji

Sent remotely

You love me only with
A veil, a bride, or
Through a barrier, screen or when
I’m on a trip
Somewhere green away
I can’t
Afford to travel
So I go into people’s
Arms to write
You postcards
Maybe when I’m dead
You’ll love me the most
It will be like I’m always traveling

Tonight I am reborn
As happy Ghost
You can contact me
Via Ouja, baby
I’m the Weegee
Of passion crimes committed
Solely in the mountains of
Mind
Where streams flow
Whose water
Marbles like flesh and where
Wherewhos pray…
Rise into the tree crowns,
Star of day
Be the monster whose each step
Makes wood blooms
Forever verb.

Love Song of Social Defeat

Maybe It’s true I’m crazy
And you’re a wonderful person
But I did have the bruises
I asked for
In my snowflake voice
As we fought the system
Wildly
On through each other’s bodies
Dust & lust
Are beautiful

But the greatest of these
Is hope
For a deep trove true love
Crying sculpture
Burning car
I’d rather be
A mad nun than snooze in the
Market of senses
That’s how you and I
Are different

In your way
You love the world and
I love in mine
I’d have loved to have been
Your doll but I’m on fire
With crescents and tails of stars
And don’t want to shop or
Spend in restaurants

I wanted the cash
To end

*

Song

People are
Getting jobs
Getting married and moving
Away I’m still here
Alone like neon
Admiring the moon
In the puddle of a penknife

No wife
No child
Just seed and a will
To reflect and when sun
Drops behind the Brooklyn roofs
I’m in colors too

Santa Mania

Mania my sweetest nectar
Don’t leave me
I was walking in the sun

Listening to Lana I was here
Before my birth and
Here I remain
Dreaming intensely with
Great plan to live and die

Do I really have to?
I guess it doesn’t mattress

I’m here and I like
To fuck.

*

Symptoms

I started writing down
My symptoms but
They were such boring words
Like, fake. So then I thought
I’d turn my mind to objects;
What could be realer, right? —
Hello bureau
Hello vanity
Hello bedside table
Hello bed
With the girl in it with lifted feet
(not me btw). Saying this
With my mind I got braver and
Looked out the window
(the OG browser)
Outside was outside
The building next door held many
Opportunities to ponder
The fates of other men
And women, both cis and trans
And objects
But nah, I was tired
I’m tired
This is happening now
I’m walking across the room
To get another smoke
What happens next
Will astonish you

Afterbirth

I wasn’t me with them
I was mad with them
Be they loved me body only
Inside the institution
& I didn’t want that cash

Fuck you
For non loving me for
I was ‘crazy’
And wouldn’t ‘get a job’
Trying to love your lazy

Socialized ass job enough
Run rom the institutions
Run from your lovers
Run from currency
To the current

ocean

Clouds

So what kind of art
Are you making
These days—
You into currency,
Almanacs,
Colorlessness…?

— No — indexology.

Then she walked away.

*

Blessing

A white stag came up
To me and said you’ll
Never be an artist,
I said thank you,
Thank you.

Locus solus

I remember as when we trusted each other
We hay the possibility of a tree
It was neat to vibe like a newly discovered god
Whose places of service
Had not been imagined yet
But we tried
We said disco wood
Friend bonfires
And it was easy to spot them in the night summer air
That gathered like the perfect soundtrack
I still hear
Piped in from a small wound
In the side of my mountain
When I’m happy I know I’m in a poem

Lajka ritorna! (Lajka come back!)

[..] Nothing could be fairer and clearer
Than a trailer with two hearts painted on it
Sitting in the middle of the ocean

The murder of civilians or
The sound of music.

Where is the word in which I might
just sit by you and eat?

da Joy of missing out –
Ana Božičević

 

tutte le foto, compresa quella di copertina, sono di Kaja Rata